Feeling Un

Then the LORD said to Satan,
“I, the LORD, reject your accusations, Satan.
Yes, the LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you.
This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from a fire.”
Zechariah 3:2 NLT

 One of my favorite authors is releasing her newest book next month and I got a sneak peek into what it’s all about. It’s called Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely.

At first I didn’t want to acknowledge – even just to myself in my own head – that I could identify with those words. But all of a sudden tiny memories started popping into the projector in my brain and playing them like a movie… little mental home videos of times I felt less than, left out, lonely. Uninvited. Moments when I hear my inner voice accuse me of being unloveable, unwanted, unable, un… everything.

Why on earth do I still have those memories?! And what makes those feelings so deeply scorched on my brain that I can still feel their pain just from reading a book title?

Luckily God – my absolute favorite author – has some solutions that were released in a book called Zechariah, circa 520 B.C. In Zechariah, just a bit after last week’s message, God gives him another vision that targets my feelings of insecurity and rejection. Check it out:

Then the angel showed me Jeshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD. Satan was there at the angel’s right hand, accusing Jeshua of many things. And the LORD said to Satan, ‘I, the LORD, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from a fire.’Jeshua’s clothing was filthy as he stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, ‘Take off his filthy clothes.’ And turning to Jeshua he said, ‘See, I have taken away your sins and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.'” (Zechariah 3:1-3 NLT)

Jeshua, a high priest (who I’d never imagine would struggle with feelings of rejection) stands here accused by none other than Satan himself. But God just tells Satan I REJECT YOUR ACCUSATIONS. God acknowledges that Jeshua WAS a once burning stick – but he’s been snatched from the fire. Whatever might have been true about the accusations of Satan no longer matter. God clothes Jeshua with a fresh, forgiven future and fine new clothes.

Now, THAT is the vision I want to play in my brain projector every time I feel less than, left out, lonely and uninvited. I see myself in where Jeshua stood, watching Satan spit out accusations that make me want to crumble in self-loathing. Then I see Jesus smile and, without hesitation, firmly tell Satan I REJECT YOUR ACCUSATIONS. He covers me in a rich, elegant white cloth as my dim thrift store clothes turn to ash and disappear. I am wanted. Loved. Invited.

Now it’s your turn: Can you see YOU there?


Dear Lord, thank you so much for gently showing me that I’m still riddled with fear and insecurity. Thank you for letting that title come across my life this week AND for rejecting my accusations against myself. Help me see myself in Jeshua’s place every moment I question my place in your creation. Amen.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/23628513@N00/4757913318″>140:365 – Left Out</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)</a>

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About messyworship

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I believe that you can bump into God outside of a Sunday morning church service. That is what Messy Worship is: a written meditation with an authentic, transparent take on the Bible's application to today's world. This is where I challenge myself to blurr the line between "life" and "worship" so much that the line disappears a little more each day. I hope, by sharing what I learn, the idea of a seamless life of worship becomes contagious.

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  1. Author Image

    Hi Emily. First, I miss you! Second, I haven’t read “messy worship” for a couple of months but decided this was a perfect time…whilst I eat my hummus and carrots. I am anxious to read about Jeshua…I don’t remember reading about him EVER! Thank you for this topic…I wrestle with this a LOT, as you may know. Just yesterday, in fact, while talking with a family member, I was ridiculed for my ideas and felt so vulnerable and isolated…like a child in line for a spanking. After our conversation, I tried to look to my God for his affirmation…and with a half smile, I (mostly) felt it but am still struggling to fit in a place that is not important to God or his kingdom…only to me on earth.
    Thank you for this friend. I love you!

    Jennifer SW / Reply
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      I miss you, too!!!!! I’m so glad you commented because it forced me to do a little research. Jeshua is just a variant of the Hebrew name Joshua. Second, this is a DIFFERENT Joshua than the one the Old Testament book is named after (see below from http://www.gotquestions.org/Joshua-in-Zechariah.html)

      “First, a disambiguation: the Joshua mentioned in Zechariah is a different person from the Joshua whose name is used as the title of the biblical book of Joshua. That Joshua was the assistant to Moses who led Israel across the Jordan River and led their conquest of the Promised Land in 1400 B.C.

      The Joshua of Zechariah 3 was a Levite and descendant of Aaron in post-exilic Jerusalem in approximately 538 B.C. Joshua’s name also appears as “Jeshua” and is listed as one of the first of those returning from Babylon in Nehemiah 7:7: “They came with Zerubbabel, Jeshua, Nehemiah, Azariah. . . .”

      The prophet Haggai also refers to the high priest Joshua: “In the second year of Darius the king [537 B.C.], in the sixth month, on the first day of the month, the word of the LORD came by the hand of Haggai the prophet to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest” (Haggai 1:1).

      Joshua would soon help rebuild the temple (Ezra 5:1-2). God used the prophets Haggai and Zechariah to communicate His command to rebuild the temple and encourage the people in their work. Joshua served as the spiritual leader and high priest who supported the effort, and Zerubbabel was the governor of Judah, also involved in the work.

      As the first high priest in the rebuilt Jerusalem, Joshua played a significant historical role and was a precursor to Ezra, who came to Jerusalem during the second wave of returning exiles.”

      Third, isn’t it funny how easy it is to feel isolated around those closest to us? I can TOTALLY identify with your family experience. It is REALLY hard to believe that God’s opinion is the only one that matters AND that His opinion of us is good. I hear you, sister. I’ll be praying that God surround you in a bubble of his deep love today… HUGE HUGS TO YOU.

      messyworship / (in reply to Jennifer SW) Reply

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